Tag Archives: leadership

Be Successful – Making A Personal Change – Part 3 Be Clear About What Is Troubling You

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Successful – Making A Personal Change – Part 3 Be Clear About What Is Troubling You

In the last post in this series  I discussed the need to be quite clear about what you need to change. I said you needed to be as specific and detailed as you could in the way you defined the change.  Starting with a clear and detailed description has a huge impact on how successful your change might be.  And I hope you have now created your description.

Now, you need to start thinking about emotions. No significant change is made without some impact on our emotions.  Understanding what they are and knowing how to manage the impact can be key to success.

Troublesome emotions like anxiety, depression, guilt, shame, anger, hurt, jealousy and envy can occur at different times in our lives.  They can be associated with lots of different kinds of events. But sometimes they occur when most people would think there should be nothing to worry about.  And they can be very difficult to deal with.

You can find one theme and one emotion recurs time and again.  It doesn’t actually stop you doing something but it can make it more difficult to do and less satisfying.

Teasing out exactly what the emotion is, is the first step in understanding the thoughts and beliefs behind it.  It can be a way to help you gain control of the emotion and make sure things turn out more positively for you in the future.

What do you feel, when you think about the change you have to make? Exactly what emotion is being stirred in you?

Be very honest with yourself. If you need support from a coach in sorting out the emotions that stop you making positive changes, get in touch, my phone number is below.

The next post in this series will be about what aspect of the change is triggering the emotion and why?

If you have tips to share with others about making changes in your life – please get in touch.

The links to the earlier posts in this series are below.

Wendy Mason is a Life and Career Coach.  She helps people have the confidence they need to be successful at work and to change career while maintaining a good work/life balance. You can email her at wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com

 

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Starting Up A New Business – Great New Advice On Dave’s Blog

There is a new entry on Dave’s blog at this link.  He has received some valuable advice on starting up his own small business.  You can read it too on his blog.

 

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Help Me Get A Job – Providing A Reference

AUCKLAND, NEW ZEALAND - APRIL 15:  A letter is...

Image credit: Getty Images via @daylife

Help Me Get A Job – Providing A Reference

If you are applying for a job, you can expect the recruiter to ask for, and check out, at least two and probably three of your references. So you need to be prepared.

It is a good idea to have a number of potential referees for you to choose from. But the recruiter is likely to expect to see the details of your most recent employer. This is one reason why it is always a good idea to leave on good terms, even if you have been made redundant. But you can include other people too, if they know your work and your capabilities.

For example, if you volunteer you could ask a senior manager from within the voluntary organization if they would be prepared to give you a personal reference. If you have recently left college, you should certainly include your course tutor. Business acquaintances, suppliers and former clients can also make good referees.

But you do need to ask the referee’s permission, before you give out their details. Even if they have agreed in principle, you should ask them whether they would be happy to provide a reference on this occasion. I know someone who lost an opportunity when they quoted the name of a referee who had past history with the recruiter. If the candidate had checked he would have had forewarning that this was a possibility

You need to know that your referees will respond quickly and that what they say will be positive. Some people don’t like to say no, when asked for a reference. But then the reference they provide is either vague or lukewarm. This usually works to your disadvantage,particularly if the recruiters follows up the letter they receive with a telephone call.

Only ask people to be referees if they really do know you well enough to provide a reference that means something.

It is important to have a good idea of what they are going to say about your background and your performance. Keep them briefed on what you have been doing and it is a good idea to offer them an up to date copy of your CV. If they need further guidance on what to write there are examples of reference letters at this link.

When you leave a position always ask for a recommendation letter for your future use from your manager. Over time, people move on and others lose track. But if you have that letter you have a record you can share.

And when in due course you are asked to provide a reference, play fair.

Never, never say yes, if you don’t feel you can write a sincere recommendation. “Damning with faint praise” is still damning and in this job climate, I believe it is unforgivable!

If you have tips for others, please pass them on.

Working with a coach can make all the difference in your job search – my email address is below.

Wendy Mason is a Life and Career Coach.  She helps people have the confidence they need to be successful at work and to change career while maintaining a good work/life balance. You can email her at wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com

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Wednesday Quotes – Career Success

"Don't feed your mind with negative thoug...

  1. Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as you mind lets you. What you believe, you can achieve. Mary Kay Ash
  2. Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work. H.L. Hunt
  3. To love what you do and feel that it matters – how could anything be more fun? Katherine Graham
  4. The best job goes to the person who can get it done without passing the buck or coming back with excuses. Napoleon Hill
  5. Remember that you are needed. There is at least one important work to be done that will not be done unless you do it.  Catherine Pulsifer
  6. The will to win is important, but the will to prepare is vital. Joe Paterno
  7. The ultimate inspiration is the deadline. Nolan Bushnell
  8. Work while others are wishing. Thomas A. Edison
  9. Winners take time to relish their work, knowing that scaling
    You are not what you think you are...But what ...

    the mountain is what makes the view from the top so exhilarating. Denis Waitley

  10. People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret of success. Norman Vincent Peale
  11. Real success is finding your lifework in the work that you love. David McCullough
  12. Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart to give yourself to it. Buddha

Wendy Mason is a Life and Career Coach.  She helps people have the confidence they need to be successful at work and to change career while maintaining a good work/life balance. You can email her at wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com

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The Leader’s Way: Business, Buddhism and Happiness in an Interconnected World – Leadership Lessons from the Dalai Lama

Effective leadership is an underlying theme throughout the teachings of the Dalai Lama.

Cover of "The Leader's Way: Business, Bud...

International managerial consultant Laurens van den Muyzenberg identified the business leadership undercurrent in the 1990s after he was hired to advise the Dalai Lama.

Realizing the great potential in combining their respective expertise, van den Muyzenberg and the Dalai Lama co-authored The Leader’s Way, applying Buddhism to business practices.

“Most of my clients do face difficult ethical problems,” says van den Muyzenberg, who consults leaders. “It’s hard to find somebody with the kind of ethical prestige that [the Dalai Lama] has.”

Professor  C.O. Herkströter, former CEO of Shell and Chairman of the Board of ING wrote this when reviewing the book.

“This book examines capitalism and Buddhism in a fascinating way. Everybody in business who is seriously interested in responsible entrepreneurship will recognise the issues. The book adds a valuable dimension to the values and ethical standards that form the basis for responsible leadership in business.”

The approach represents the synthesis of East and West and provides an inspiring manifesto for business change. The first part of The Leader’s Way two-part message is this: in order to lead, you must understand the reasons for our actions then you can act to  solve problems through integrity, respect and sensitivity toward others.

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