Tag Archives: health

What is Personal Development?

What is personal development?

Personal development is a way that you can develop yourself; sometimes alone and sometimes with support from others.

Personal development can help you identity and develop your talents and potential.

You can improve your career opportunities, enhance the quality of your life and contribute to the realization of your dreams and aspirations.

Personal development includes;

  • Understanding yourself as an individual
  • Building your self-image and self-esteem
  • Developing strengths or talents
  • Improving your opportunities in the job market – your career
  • Identifying or improving your potential
  • Enhancing your quality of life and relationships
  • Improving health and social abilities
  • Fulfilling aspirations and dreams
  • Developing and carrying out personal development plans

Personal development enables you to;

  • Expect to succeed
  • Take risks and set challenging goals
  • Keep trying, if at first you don’t succeed
  • Manage emotions and fears when the going gets rough
  • Be Optimistic
  • Be Self-Confident
  • Be a Self-Starter and take responsibility for your own development
  • Be Open  and share you success with others

Coming shortly – the WiseWolf Career and Personal Development Network – if you would like to know more email wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com

Wendy Mason is a career coach working mainly with professional women who want to make that jump to senior level.Before working as a coach, Wendy had a long career in both the public and private sectors in general management and consultancy as well as spells in HR. She now divides her time between face to face coaching, and coaching and blogging on-line. You can contact Wendy at wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com and find out more at http://wisewolfcoaching.com

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Are you stressed-out by your poor work-life balance?

I’ve been there and got the tea-shirt in coping with work-life balance problems and I know that I can help you.
You know you have a work-life balance problem when you
  • Don’t have enough time for everything and spend what time you have handling scheduling conflicts,
  • Feel stressed and overwhelmed by trying to balance your different roles.
Find out more on  WiseWolf’s Your Happiness Factor Blog at this link

Are you stressed-out by your poor work-life balance?

Wendy Mason is a Life and Career Coach.  She helps people have the confidence they need to be successful at work and to change career while maintaining a good work/life balance. You can email her at wendymason @wisewolfcoaching.com

 

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Be a Self-Starter – Confidence and the Personal Development Mindset

There is a new post at the blog for my Wisewolf Personal Development Coaching Website.  Developing a Personal Development Mindset is important if you wish to develop as a manager or leader so you might find this post intereesting.

“The third characteristic of a Personal Development Mindset  is to be a self-starter!

WHAT IS BEING A SELF-STARTER

Personal development means taking personal responsibility for your own learning and development and taking the first steps yourself. Usually this is through a process of review/stock-take, exploration/research, and taking action. BUT HOW DO YOU TAKE THAT FIRST STEP?   Read more »

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Job Search and Motivation – when the motivation vampire strikes!

A screenshot of the 1922 film, Nosferatu. Thou... 

 

 

At last I’ve heard from Dave.  You can find his latest news at this link and it is a sad tale.  Poor June has been in the wars and Dave has done his best to help but all isn’t well.  Apart from anything else I think the motivation vampire has struck.

It is very easy to become depressed when you have been out of work for a long time.  Your motivation seems to just drain away and you may feel you can’t be bothered any more.

You stop expecting to find the right job and begin to wonder if you will get any job at all.

You can feel depressed and hurt that you can no longer support yourself and your family financially in the way that you believe you should! You may feel you are letting people down.  This in turn can lead to stress and anxiety.

So what do you do?  First and foremost, talk to your family about what is happening and share the problems and the responsibilities with them.  I bet they don’t feel half as bad as you think and perhaps they can help share the financial load. Seek help in managing your finances if you need to and talk to your bank before you get into real financial difficulties.
As for motivation, well yes there are things that you can do to help!
  • Make sure you are working to a routine Monday to Friday. Set yourself some working hours and stick to them
  • Dedicate a space in your home to working – even if it is the dining room table make it look different during working hours.  Spend your working time there apart from lunch and coffee breaks
  • Get some time out of the house each day – go for a walk at lunch time – but get out and take some exercise
  • Revise your CV and your marketing material to show any voluntary work you have been doing
  • Do some voluntary work – it will be good for you, them and your CV
  • Set some targets for yourself in terms of networking meetings (coffee meet-ups etc), sending off CVs etc each week and stick to it
  • Share your targets with someone else and give them permission to challenge you about their achievement – they will enjoy helping you.
  • Enquire about local jobhunter clubs and meetups – here is a example if you are London UK based   London Jobhunters Meetup Group

Above all think though your options again – just like Dave you may have a “hobby” skill that could be the basis of a new business and a whole new, and better, way of life! See that old vampire off – somewhere out there is the right future for you!

Wendy Mason works as a Coach, Consultant and Blogger. She works with all kinds of people going through many different kinds of personal and career change, particularly those wanting to increase their confidence.
If you would like to work on developing your own confidence, Wendy has a Learn to Be Confident Program at this link
You can contact Wendy at wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com  or ring ++44 (0)2084610114
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Unemployment – looking after your mental health!

Depression (emotion )

Losing a job is one of the most difficult things we have to deal with in life.  It ranks right up there with losing someone you care for or going through divorce.

“It’s a serious fracture in one’s world view,” says Robert London, M.D., a staff psychiatrist at New York University’s Langone Medical Center. “It doesn’t matter if you’re an executive or a bus driver–your identity is very much wrapped up in your job. And to suddenly be without that identity can be devastating.”

That is why it can make you feel down in the first few weeks and seriously depressed if unemployment stretches over months.

It is all too easy to start believing that there must be something wrong with you personally or that you lack some vital characteristic that the rest of the world seems blessed with.

Sometimes you may not realise you are depressed.  You just want to sleep all the time, you don’t want to mix with other people and/or suddenly you start feeling mysterious aches and pains.

Now that you are depressed, of course, finding a job becomes even less likely and you may not feel you can make the effort.  If you do feel like this, then please do seek help from your doctor, coach or counsellor.

But how do you intervene before things become quite that bad?

Well, first, recognise the risk! Then, you need to take responsibility for looking after your own mental, as well as physical, health.

Being jobless can make you feel you have no control over your own life and that makes you feel insecure and unhappy.  So start to take control by giving yourself a set schedule for every day of the working week.

Make finding your new job your new job.  Set a time to start each day and make sure you are showered, dressed and in your new work space (allocate a space at home for this, if you don’t have a home office) by that time each day.

Work to a flexible but firm timetable for the day.  Explain that you will be working at home during the day to family and friends.

Each morning and evening allocate a time to check and revise your work-search “to do” list.  Make sure you build in some networking time – either by telephone, face to face or on social networks – social contact with others will be refreshing as well as part of your job search.

Make some time as well for your own personal development – are there new skills you would like or need to acquire?  The internet and your local library will help you to find free or at least inexpensive resources.

At the end of your working day, if you can, close the door on your working space or at least make it look different.  Then spend time with family and friends doing what you usually enjoy.

Resist the temptation to hole up in your house and wait for the world to come to you. As Dr London say “Isolation is a dangerous thing. When you live in your head, you ruminate and feed your depression,”

Try each day to find either something to be inspired by – nature is great for that – or something to laugh at.  Laughing at old comedy programs should probably available for us all as part of public health services.

Wendy Mason works as a Coach, Consultant and Blogger. She works with all kinds of people going through many different kinds of personal and career change, particularly those wanting to increase their confidence

If you would like to work on developing your own confidence, Wendy offers the Wisewolf Learn to Be Confident Program at this link

You can contact Wendy at wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com  or ring ++44 (0)2084610114

Share

Unemployment – looking after your mental health!

Depression (emotion )

Losing a job is one of the most difficult things we have to deal with in life.  It ranks right up there with losing someone you care for or going through divorce.

“It’s a serious fracture in one’s world view,” says Robert London, M.D., a staff psychiatrist at New York University’s Langone Medical Center. “It doesn’t matter if you’re an executive or a bus driver–your identity is very much wrapped up in your job. And to suddenly be without that identity can be devastating.”

That is why it can make you feel down in the first few weeks and seriously depressed if unemployment stretches over months.

It is all too easy to start believing that there must be something wrong with you personally or that you lack some vital characteristic that the rest of the world seems blessed with.

Sometimes you may not realise you are depressed.  You just want to sleep all the time, you don’t want to mix with other people and/or suddenly you start feeling mysterious aches and pains.

Now that you are depressed, of course, finding a job becomes even less likely and you may not feel you can make the effort.  If you do feel like this, then please do seek help from your doctor, coach or counsellor.

But how do you intervene before things become quite that bad?

Well, first, recognise the risk! Then, you need to take responsibility for looking after your own mental, as well as physical, health.

Being jobless can make you feel you have no control over your own life and that makes you feel insecure and unhappy.  So start to take control by giving yourself a set schedule for every day of the working week.

Make finding your new job your new job.  Set a time to start each day and make sure you are showered, dressed and in your new work space (allocate a space at home for this, if you don’t have a home office) by that time each day.

Work to a flexible but firm timetable for the day.  Explain that you will be working at home during the day to family and friends.

Each morning and evening allocate a time to check and revise your work-search “to do” list.  Make sure you build in some networking time – either by telephone, face to face or on social networks – social contact with others will be refreshing as well as part of your job search.

Make some time as well for your own personal development – are there new skills you would like or need to acquire?  The internet and your local library will help you to find free or at least inexpensive resources.

At the end of your working day, if you can, close the door on your working space or at least make it look different.  Then spend time with family and friends doing what you usually enjoy.

Resist the temptation to hole up in your house and wait for the world to come to you. As Dr London say “Isolation is a dangerous thing. When you live in your head, you ruminate and feed your depression,”

Try each day to find either something to be inspired by – nature is great for that – or something to laugh at.  Laughing at old comedy programs should probably available for us all as part of public health services.

Wendy Mason works as a Coach, Consultant and Blogger. She works with all kinds of people going through many different kinds of personal and career change, particularly those wanting to increase their confidence

If you would like to work on developing your own confidence, Wendy offers the Wisewolf Learn to Be Confident Program at this link

You can contact Wendy at wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com  or ring ++44 (0)2084610114

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The ability to bounce – coping with life’s problems

Bouncing Boy
Image via Wikipedia

Losing your job can be a major blow to your self confidence and it can be difficult to bounce back.  This can be much worse if you are someone who has found it difficult to cope with life’s problems in the past

Coping with life’s problems successfully needs you to have realistic expectations. Psychologists call these expectations, and the judgements you make based on them, ‘appraisals’.  Things that happen to us aren’t a problem unless we judge them to be.

Life is never perfect and problems, including losing your job these days, are a part of normal, everyday life. If our judgements (appraisals) are realistic, we’re much better able to deal with them and not let them throw us off-balance.

The appraisals we make come from our belief system. If we hold unrealistic beliefs, then our judgements may not be the best for the situation.

Sometimes we have unrealistic beliefs about what we must or should do.  We want to be “perfect”.  “Everyone must like me “or “I’ve got to be good at everything” for example. If you think about these for a minute, they are irrational beliefs. Who do you know who could really achieve them?

Another approach!

When you are aware of this, it is possible to substitute an irrational judgement with something more positive?

If someone treats you rudely, you could think what a rotten person they are.  Or you could think “See, everyone does dislike me!”  But another view could be.  “I wonder what happened to that person today to make them behave like that?”

But it is important to follow up these ‘primary appraisals’!  We need to ask ourselves afterwards if there’s anything we can do about a particular event that has caused distress – a “secondary appraisal”.

If we feel helpless to change things, or incompetent when facing challenges, then we’re less likely to come up with a suitable way to handle things.

Self-efficacy

People who have a confident belief that the responses they make to life’s challenges have a meaningful effect (self efficacy), are able to face problems with energy!  This means they bounce back easily.

But how do you develop this belief?

Self-efficacy comes from life experiences and being with others who already have the belief. It’s built up over the years by responding to challenges with action, flexibility and persistence.

But how can we increase our self-efficacy?  Well here are some suggestions:

  1. Set some goals for your life. If we don’t have goals, how can we succeed? Set some goals for your life, and give yourself credit when you achieve them.
  2. Make your goals challenging but realistic enough so you’ll be able to reach them. Set some simple goals to start with, that are fairly easy to achieve and then build on them.
  3. Find some good role models. They don’t have to be someone you know, but find someone you admire and you could learn from.
  4. Talk yourself positive. Take time to observe how you think about yourself.  Start praising your success in your own mind and make a decision to stop putting yourself down.  Admit that, like all of us, you have faults and stop belittling yourself for them.  Instead build yourself up for the smallest successes.
  5. Remember it takes energy and effort to succeed.  Be like an athlete, train yourself to win

Support

People with a good support system are more successful at overcoming life’s problems.

Are there people you can count on to listen to you when you need to talk? Can you speak to them frankly, without worrying about what you say? And are there people in your life you can count on to support you in major decisions?

Why not arrange to see old friends and family members.  You will find most people will take an interest in you if you show a real interest in them first.

Don’t wait for things to get better, take the first step – taking action gives us an increased feeling of competence and self-esteem. Taking action raises our self-efficacy!

Share

The ability to bounce – coping with life's problems

Bouncing Boy
Image via Wikipedia

Losing your job can be a major blow to your self confidence and it can be difficult to bounce back.  This can be much worse if you are someone who has found it difficult to cope with life’s problems in the past

Coping with life’s problems successfully needs you to have realistic expectations. Psychologists call these expectations, and the judgements you make based on them, ‘appraisals’.  Things that happen to us aren’t a problem unless we judge them to be.

Life is never perfect and problems, including losing your job these days, are a part of normal, everyday life. If our judgements (appraisals) are realistic, we’re much better able to deal with them and not let them throw us off-balance.

The appraisals we make come from our belief system. If we hold unrealistic beliefs, then our judgements may not be the best for the situation.

Sometimes we have unrealistic beliefs about what we must or should do.  We want to be “perfect”.  “Everyone must like me “or “I’ve got to be good at everything” for example. If you think about these for a minute, they are irrational beliefs. Who do you know who could really achieve them?

Another approach!

When you are aware of this, it is possible to substitute an irrational judgement with something more positive?

If someone treats you rudely, you could think what a rotten person they are.  Or you could think “See, everyone does dislike me!”  But another view could be.  “I wonder what happened to that person today to make them behave like that?”

But it is important to follow up these ‘primary appraisals’!  We need to ask ourselves afterwards if there’s anything we can do about a particular event that has caused distress – a “secondary appraisal”.

If we feel helpless to change things, or incompetent when facing challenges, then we’re less likely to come up with a suitable way to handle things.

Self-efficacy

People who have a confident belief that the responses they make to life’s challenges have a meaningful effect (self efficacy), are able to face problems with energy!  This means they bounce back easily.

But how do you develop this belief?

Self-efficacy comes from life experiences and being with others who already have the belief. It’s built up over the years by responding to challenges with action, flexibility and persistence.

But how can we increase our self-efficacy?  Well here are some suggestions:

  1. Set some goals for your life. If we don’t have goals, how can we succeed? Set some goals for your life, and give yourself credit when you achieve them.
  2. Make your goals challenging but realistic enough so you’ll be able to reach them. Set some simple goals to start with, that are fairly easy to achieve and then build on them.
  3. Find some good role models. They don’t have to be someone you know, but find someone you admire and you could learn from.
  4. Talk yourself positive. Take time to observe how you think about yourself.  Start praising your success in your own mind and make a decision to stop putting yourself down.  Admit that, like all of us, you have faults and stop belittling yourself for them.  Instead build yourself up for the smallest successes.
  5. Remember it takes energy and effort to succeed.  Be like an athlete, train yourself to win

Support

People with a good support system are more successful at overcoming life’s problems.

Are there people you can count on to listen to you when you need to talk? Can you speak to them frankly, without worrying about what you say? And are there people in your life you can count on to support you in major decisions?

Why not arrange to see old friends and family members.  You will find most people will take an interest in you if you show a real interest in them first.

Don’t wait for things to get better, take the first step – taking action gives us an increased feeling of competence and self-esteem. Taking action raises our self-efficacy!

Share

Dealing with disappointment! So, you didn’t get the job!

If you look at Dave’s page today you’ll see he has had a disappointment.  He didn’t get the school administrator job he applied for.  He just missed out to a younger candidate with more direct experience.  The panel thought he interviewed well, but of course he is very disappointed.

When you are looking for work, in the world as it is now, you have got to get used to knock-backs. It is how you handle the news that is all important.

First, don’t take it personally.  Panels make decisions based on what they read and what they made of you at the interview, sometimes supplemented by the results from an assessment centre. They then make a subjective judgment about the best fit for the role.

Their judgement is about a particular role, at that point of time, in their view; it is not about your value as a human being.

Second, use this as an opportunity to learn.  Get all the feedback you can from the panel. If they don’t offer you an opportunity to discuss your application and the interview, then ask for one.  You will find most reputable organizations will have a discussion with you, if you have got to interview stage.

Their feedback is valuable.  Try not to be defensive, take a deep breath and listen as objectively as you can to what they have to offer. But weigh their views up yourself; don’t just take it a face value.  Do you agree with what they say?

After your discussion, send a thank you note to the hiring manager, the recruiter, or who ever took the timeout to give you feedback.

The reason you doing this isn’t out of sheer politeness.  They may have already offered the job to someone but that person may change their mind and never start the job. Or the person may take the job but prove to be unsatisfactory. It happens more often than you think.

Filling a job takes an employer a lot of time and energy. Staff time for interviews plus the cost of posting the job, etc. is expensive for most employers. Your thank your discussion plus your thank you note will remind them of you, particularly, if you include a request that they get in touch with you if the situation changes or another job becomes available.

Take some time out to reflect positively on the experience you have been through and what you have learned from it.  Now it is time to move on!  Sometimes things just happen!  You can’t change what has gone before, but you can make sure that your reaction turns into two steps forward and not one step back.

Have you bounced back from rejection?  Do you have good advice for Dave?  We would love to hear from you!

I am Wendy Mason and I work as a personal and business coach, consultant and blogger.  I have worked with many different kinds of people going through personal  and career change. If you would like my help, please email me at wendymason@wisewolfconsulting.com or ring ++44(0)2084610114 or ++44(0)7867681439.  I will be very pleased to hear from you.
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Dealing with disappointment! So, you didn't get the job!

If you look at Dave’s page today you’ll see he has had a disappointment.  He didn’t get the school administrator job he applied for.  He just missed out to a younger candidate with more direct experience.  The panel thought he interviewed well, but of course he is very disappointed.

When you are looking for work, in the world as it is now, you have got to get used to knock-backs. It is how you handle the news that is all important.

First, don’t take it personally.  Panels make decisions based on what they read and what they made of you at the interview, sometimes supplemented by the results from an assessment centre. They then make a subjective judgment about the best fit for the role.

Their judgement is about a particular role, at that point of time, in their view; it is not about your value as a human being.

Second, use this as an opportunity to learn.  Get all the feedback you can from the panel. If they don’t offer you an opportunity to discuss your application and the interview, then ask for one.  You will find most reputable organizations will have a discussion with you, if you have got to interview stage.

Their feedback is valuable.  Try not to be defensive, take a deep breath and listen as objectively as you can to what they have to offer. But weigh their views up yourself; don’t just take it a face value.  Do you agree with what they say?

After your discussion, send a thank you note to the hiring manager, the recruiter, or who ever took the timeout to give you feedback.

The reason you doing this isn’t out of sheer politeness.  They may have already offered the job to someone but that person may change their mind and never start the job. Or the person may take the job but prove to be unsatisfactory. It happens more often than you think.

Filling a job takes an employer a lot of time and energy. Staff time for interviews plus the cost of posting the job, etc. is expensive for most employers. Your thank your discussion plus your thank you note will remind them of you, particularly, if you include a request that they get in touch with you if the situation changes or another job becomes available.

Take some time out to reflect positively on the experience you have been through and what you have learned from it.  Now it is time to move on!  Sometimes things just happen!  You can’t change what has gone before, but you can make sure that your reaction turns into two steps forward and not one step back.

Have you bounced back from rejection?  Do you have good advice for Dave?  We would love to hear from you!

I am Wendy Mason and I work as a personal and business coach, consultant and blogger.  I have worked with many different kinds of people going through personal  and career change. If you would like my help, please email me at wendymason@wisewolfconsulting.com or ring ++44(0)2084610114 or ++44(0)7867681439.  I will be very pleased to hear from you.
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