Monthly Archives: February 2012

Preparing women for leadership!

In my time I’ve read countless books telling me how to be a better leader and how to be a better manager.  I’ve spent many, many hours in debate with others about women as leaders and managers.

20 years ago when it was still socially acceptable to proclaim that the place for women was firmly tied to the kitchen sink, there were some very interesting views expressed on the subject by both my male and female colleagues.

Now, I realise my experience was exceptional.  I come from a family where it was assumed that women were natural leaders.  I can’t imagine anyone being brave enough to tell my mother she was not supposed to be at the front or that she wouldn’t know what the rest of the team should be doing!  In due course, I followed her into the nursing profession.  At that time nursing was female lead and I trained as a nurse at Royal Free Hospital in London – the first medical school to admit women.

I had left nursing and moved on into the world of the UK Civil Service, before it dawned on me that there were people around who believed that my sex should have some relationship to success in my career.

This news came as something of a shock – particularly the comments of one particular boss, who declared – “I’m not going to write you up for promotion – I like you too much and I don’t like the women who get to the top of the Civil Service”.

Then there were a number of other incidents.

For example, there was the boss who declared he was putting the guys up for promotion first because they were the bread winners in their families.  I was too, but he didn’t seem to believe that – I mean, I was a married woman, how could it be so?

Anyway, times have changed.  And I did achieve the kind of management and leadership positions I’d hoped for! I had a long and very interesting career as a public sector manager.  Although, I didn’t have many female mentors around, there were men who were prepared to share their knowledge and experience very generously.  What I didn’t have were role models for how you juggle home, commuting, work and a social life.  But I worked that through with supportive female friends going through the same experiences.

Looking back, what has that taught me about preparing women for leadership?

Well , for me, home and the early years are critical.  What do young children see at home in terms of what is expected of women?  What views are expressed of women as leaders in the family?  What experiences of leadership do we give young women as they are growing up?

It is good, for example, that press publicity is given to top women.  But that is two-edged! We need to have a care that women at the top are not regarded as notable, primarily, because of their sex.

If children grow up expecting women to be leaders, I believe there is a much greater chance that they will be!

When I was very young I firmly believed that women ruled the world or should do so! Having a young and very beautiful Queen Elizabeth II, certainly meant I saw no conflict between influence and femininity. Only now am I beginning to understand just how blessed I was.

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Job Search and Motivation – when the motivation vampire strikes!

A screenshot of the 1922 film, Nosferatu. Thou... 

 

 

At last I’ve heard from Dave.  You can find his latest news at this link and it is a sad tale.  Poor June has been in the wars and Dave has done his best to help but all isn’t well.  Apart from anything else I think the motivation vampire has struck.

It is very easy to become depressed when you have been out of work for a long time.  Your motivation seems to just drain away and you may feel you can’t be bothered any more.

You stop expecting to find the right job and begin to wonder if you will get any job at all.

You can feel depressed and hurt that you can no longer support yourself and your family financially in the way that you believe you should! You may feel you are letting people down.  This in turn can lead to stress and anxiety.

So what do you do?  First and foremost, talk to your family about what is happening and share the problems and the responsibilities with them.  I bet they don’t feel half as bad as you think and perhaps they can help share the financial load. Seek help in managing your finances if you need to and talk to your bank before you get into real financial difficulties.
As for motivation, well yes there are things that you can do to help!
  • Make sure you are working to a routine Monday to Friday. Set yourself some working hours and stick to them
  • Dedicate a space in your home to working – even if it is the dining room table make it look different during working hours.  Spend your working time there apart from lunch and coffee breaks
  • Get some time out of the house each day – go for a walk at lunch time – but get out and take some exercise
  • Revise your CV and your marketing material to show any voluntary work you have been doing
  • Do some voluntary work – it will be good for you, them and your CV
  • Set some targets for yourself in terms of networking meetings (coffee meet-ups etc), sending off CVs etc each week and stick to it
  • Share your targets with someone else and give them permission to challenge you about their achievement – they will enjoy helping you.
  • Enquire about local jobhunter clubs and meetups – here is a example if you are London UK based   London Jobhunters Meetup Group

Above all think though your options again – just like Dave you may have a “hobby” skill that could be the basis of a new business and a whole new, and better, way of life! See that old vampire off – somewhere out there is the right future for you!

Wendy Mason works as a Coach, Consultant and Blogger. She works with all kinds of people going through many different kinds of personal and career change, particularly those wanting to increase their confidence.
If you would like to work on developing your own confidence, Wendy has a Learn to Be Confident Program at this link
You can contact Wendy at wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com  or ring ++44 (0)2084610114
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